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Relationships and Anger

Close relationships and anger often go together. Have you ever wondered why we seem to be the most angry with those who are the closest to us? Love and hate seem to be intertwined.

Could it be that the more you get to know someone, the more you discover their flaws? Could it be that your expectations of the one you love are overly high and therefore vulnerable to disappointment, frustration and anger? Is it just that it is difficult to maintain a close relationship with someone for long without your different views and values becoming increasingly apparent?  – Or maybe you just become braver at expressing your anger!

The co-existence of close relationships and anger is very complex and all of the above are possible. A combination of reasons is likely.

It is easy to blame your partner for the problems in your relationship, but have you considered that the fault could be partly or mostly your own? This is increasingly likely if you have had similar problems in previous relationships.

Maybe anger was the norm in your household as you were growing up. The first close relationships are formed when you are a baby and toddler and these relationships form the basis for the future.

Problems in bonding that occur at an early age can be difficult to resolve. These problems are often reinforced by life events.

Not surprisingly, by adulthood, you can be wondering how to change things. Understanding where the anger comes from is a helpful start to resolving or managing your issues.

Sometimes it can take years to figure things out by yourself, whereas if you speak to a counsellor/therapist this can happen quite quickly. If you would like to explore your relationship issues more, please contact Alicia Smith.


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